


i will follow you into the dark

by love and petrichor (rocket__launch)



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e05 Divide and Conquer, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-05 18:09:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1827484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocket__launch/pseuds/love%20and%20petrichor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the force shield came down a little too late?</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will follow you into the dark

When the muscles of his arms start giving way with each swing of the staff weapon hears a faint voice calling out to him in the back of his head.

_Y’know that quote from Einstein about insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?_

It sounds just like his grandfather on the day he took him out to watch the stars and their constellations on the dock in his cabin. The cabin where he was supposed to take her one day.

The thought just makes him swing the staff weapon harder at the force shield. The stubborn blue crystal ripples almost seem to mock him, distorting his image of her face standing on the other side, reminding him that there’s nothing he can do no matter how hard he tries.

_What’s that about ‘never leaving a man behind’?_

He doesn’t want to think about her face and how it’s completely unguarded. He doesn’t want to think about the way her eyes glisten from the tears that are filling up at the brim and the way the muscles of her face twist to make it obvious that she’s trying to hold back as much emotion as she can because she is an Air Force Major whose job it is to act strong and independent.

“Sir, just go!”

He hates the way she sounds so determined for him to turn his back on her and run, but at the same time so defeated because she won’t be the one following behind. Suddenly, he thinks about the cabin and how he’s going to show her the constellations even though they’ve been there already. He thinks about that eventual future where they’ll curl up together on the couch in front of the fireplace under the same blanket.

He thinks about those “what could have been’s” that he’s promised for the both of them.

“No!”

The voice is louder than he expects. It’s louder than his voice when he’s yelling at insubordinate cadets and louder than his voice when he lost his best solider and best friend back in the Middle East.

He almost falls apart when her lips quiver and her body slumps with full and complete defeat.

_Please._

The booming footsteps of Jaffa growing louder with each step sound too much like a funeral march. In one last desperate attempt, Jack raises his hand to reach out towards her. Maybe this time there was a mechanical error in the system, he likes to tell himself. That maybe he can just grab her hand and they can get out of this place, out of this floating piece of shit rock in space, back to their home where they’ll be safe in Janet’s infirmary and eventually in front of the fireplace of his cabin…

But the force shield stops his path and all he could see is blue. When he looks down again, he sees that her hand is hovering over his.

So close, but not quite.

“You’re not gonna go, are you?” she asks in a whisper, her voice cracking, on the brink of falling apart.

“You know what they say,” he replies in the same tone of voice. “Never leave a man behind.”

“Even if it leaves yourself behind?”

The Jaffa’s marching footsteps are louder than ever before. He tries to fight the lump that’s forming in his throat and tries to ignore the wild thumping of his heart.

“Sam. You know…”

He doesn’t even finish the sentence, but he’s sure she got the message. She nods and breathes in a shaky breath and finally lets the tears stream down her cheeks because there’s no such thing as strength when you’re that close to death.

“I didn’t think it’d end this way.”

Suddenly, he tastes salt on his lips. He doesn’t remember when his own tears have started falling but he doesn’t particularly care.

“Shol’va, kree!”

“Jack, do you think there’s gonna be a cabin over there?”

He doesn’t need to ask what “over there” means.

“There’d better be.”

“Maybe we’ll see Charlie there.”

More bittersweet tears fall when she mentions his son and the possibility that they'll meet. He thinks about moments where he'd look at her and think  _wow, Charlie would love her._  

Maybe he'll finally have the family of his dreams.

“I can’t wait for you to meet him.”

“Shol’va. Kree!” 

The Jaffa's voice sounds more insistent, the sound echoing through the narrow hallways.

The force shield comes down, pushing their hands together and their fingers entwining with each other. But before they could react, a series of staff blasts head their way.

The first blast hits Sam on the back, lurching her forward onto his chest where he grabs onto her with all his might. For a moment, he considers turning the other way in one last attempt to escape when staff blasts from two more Jaffa hit his body and make him tumble to the ground with her.

For a few seconds, they lay staring at each other with the affection that the military would never allow in their rulebooks. All the sights around them blur out and all the sounds become muffled. For a few sweet seconds, the universe was theirs.

This is what could have been.

“See you on the other side?” she asks, her voice croaking from the pain from the staff blast.

Her hand reaches out to touch his face, to feel the rough skin that she’s denied herself for the sake of honor and respect.

A new wave of staff blasts hits them from every side known to man. Jack takes his last breath and opportunity to press his lips against hers before the blasts obliterate them, body and mind, once and for all.

“Yeah sure, you betcha.”

This is what could have been.

* * *

 

_"Love of mine, some day you will die_   
_But I'll be close behind_   
_I'll follow you into the dark_   
_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white_   
_Just our hands clasped so tight_   
_Waiting for the hint of a spark"_

-Death Cab for Cutie


End file.
